yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
