Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
