3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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