I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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