remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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