I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize