She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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