The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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