I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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