Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i'm inner monologue high
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
