i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
