Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
