Already got asked if we're dating
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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