Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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