there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize