OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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