Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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