she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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