My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
