it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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