I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
