tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
