lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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