Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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