I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
