just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sorry my hands just texted you
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
