No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize