You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
