is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
