I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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