I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
