just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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