come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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