is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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