The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
