I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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