This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
