Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
