Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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