What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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