I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
