I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
