If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
