Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
