The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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