Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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