I think I am morally bankrupt
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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