I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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