Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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