theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
