so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
