Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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