Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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