I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
