wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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