Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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