when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
is it fun? or sober?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
