I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
