The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
