i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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